Your Worth Is Not Your Net Worth: A Healthier Approach to Money

Have you ever paid off a credit card, restructured your debt or transferred a balance to a card with a better interest rate, only to find the balances climbing again?

Or have you noticed that the more money you make, the more money you spend? Perhaps you were certain the promotion would fix it. Or the raise. Or the better quarter. Then your income increased, but your financial situation still felt much the same.

If any of that sounds familiar, feelings of guilt and shame may come with it. Before we go any further, I want to say something:

Give yourself grace.

Financial challenges are not proof that you are bad with money. Rising costs, unexpected expenses, caregiving responsibilities and limited income can all affect your financial picture. Spending habits and the beliefs we carry about money can play a role, too.

Understanding those influences can help you decide what to do next.

Start with how you see yourself

Before you open a spreadsheet, ask yourself an honest question: Can I imagine myself feeling financially secure?

If the answer is no, consider why. Perhaps your family history shaped your expectations. Maybe you grew up hearing that money was always scarce, or that financial stability was something other people achieved.

Those messages can stay with us long after we first hear them.

Recognizing them does not erase financial challenges, but it can help you approach those challenges with greater confidence and less self-judgment.

Rest has a place in your goals

Many of us carry another belief: The more we work, the more we will make. We may feel that hustling, straining and pushing ourselves toward exhaustion are the only ways to get ahead.

Hard work matters, but so do your health, family and values.

If an opportunity is draining you, take time to consider what it is costing you beyond dollars. Making room for family and rest can be part of working toward your goals.

Your worth is not your net worth

Even when your bank account does not look the way you would like it to look, you are still worthy of joy, confidence and respect.

Your financial circumstances do not define your value as a person.

You can work toward a more secure future while also appreciating who you are today. You do not have to wait for a particular income, savings balance or investment milestone to give yourself that permission.

Pair reflection with practical steps

As you reflect on your relationship with money, you can also begin building a practical plan.

That might include reviewing your income and expenses, understanding your debts, identifying priorities and setting realistic goals. You can work on your mindset and your financial strategy at the same time.

Meeting with a financial professional can provide an opportunity to discuss your circumstances and explore possible next steps. Some offer an initial consultation at no charge. Ask about their credentials, services, fees and how they are compensated.

Carve out time to think about what you need and what kind of plan would fit the life you want.

A picture worth building

A realistic financial picture includes both numbers and the person living with them.

It makes room for your responsibilities, habits, hopes and values. It also makes room for learning, adjusting and forgiving yourself when things do not go as planned.

You can take a practical step today. And you can start with grace.

A book and community celebration

These themes are explored further in Completely Wealthy, which is scheduled to be available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble on Oct. 1.

According to the organizers, proceeds from the book benefit The Global Sisterhood, an organization founded by Mars resident Dr. Shellie Hipsky. Hipsky also wrote the foreword, addressing generosity and making financial decisions with self-love and discernment.

The contributing authors will gather for The Completely Wealthy Experience on Thursday, Oct. 1, from 6 to 9 p.m. at The Club at Enterprise, 4088 Alpha Drive, Allison Park. The event offers an opportunity to meet the authors and celebrate the book’s release. Organizers say ticket proceeds also benefit The Global Sisterhood. Tickets are available here.

Editor’s note: This column reflects the author’s views and is intended for general informational purposes. It is not individualized financial or investment advice.